Sep 2, 2009

Why not give it a try...

This is my first short story(yippeeeeeey!!!). I'm so jobless these days that I've started writing stories :D

Warning: Don't expect much.

Disclaimer: All characters are fictional.



The thunder roared outside. It sounded like a train had derailed. Ajay got up from his bed and went to the kitchen. He poured some milk in a vessel, kept it on the stove and lit it.



“Ajay, Pleaseeeeeeeeee!!! I wanna meet you today. Its important”, She said. This was the fourth time Reshma was calling him.
“But dear I have so much work to finish”
“Just one hour. Please please pleaseeee…..”
Ajay couldnot refuse it. He had always loved the way Reshma convinced him to do things.
“Ok. Just an hour. I will pick you up at 8. We’ll go for dinner”
“Oh dear, so nice of you. Love you loads”

Ajay cut the call. He set an alarm in his mobile, so that he wont forget this. He din’t wanna hear those lectures from her about how long she had waited for him, how much she is missing being with him, how he used to spend most of his time with her and how he has changed now.

“I am waiting outside your house”,Ajay called Reshma and said.
“You are here so soon? Just two minutes dear”
Ajay knew what it meant. He opened his laptop and started checking mails.




The milk had boiled. Ajay turned off the stove and poured the milk in a cup. He added sugar and coffee powder to it, took a spoon and went back to his room.
He opened the window. Cool breeze swept his face. Ajay closed his eyes for a few seconds to have the feel of it. He stirred the coffee with the spoon, then took a sip.



“Hey honey”,she said.
“Sorry for keeping you waiting. I thought you’ll be a lil late”,Reshma said before he could say anything and smiled at him. It was the same kiddish smile with a spark of naughtiness in her eyes for which he had fallen.
“Its ok”,Ajay said, “So what is it that you wanted to talk about?”
“Oh that… hehehee.. There is someone special joining our family today. I want you to name him”, saying so Reshma showed him a kitten’s photo in her mobile.
Ajay smiled.
He always had a feeling that she would leave him someday. When she said she wanted to meet him and its important, he was expecting some bad news. Pheww! He felt relieved.
“Tinu”, he said.
“How chweeet!!!”




A drop of water fell into the cup.


Climax 1:
Ajay din’t care to wipe off his tears. If only Reshma had not travelled in that train.

That day was still fresh in his mind. Reshma was lying in the ICU with blood all over her body. She wanted to talk to him for one last time. Ajay went in. He touched her hands. She opened her eyes and looked at him. She held his hand and said her last words, “Love you” and smiled at him. She managed to smile for him hiding all her pain. It was the same kiddish smile with a spark of naughtiness in her eyes for which he had fallen. Her smile froze.
Ajay could not believe what had just happened. The world around him stood still. He wanted to tell her that he loved her too.


He could no longer control his emotions. He dropped the cup and broke down crying and shouting,”Love you too… love you too”



Climax 2:
Ajay din’t mind. A drop of rain water in his coffee won’t do any harm. He was too much engrossed in watching the rain’s beauty. He kept the cup on the window sill still looking outside. When he wanted to take another sip, the cup was missing.
“Searching for something honey?”,Reshma asked.
She smiled at him and sat on the bed.The cup was in her hand. Tasting the coffee, she said,”Hey not bad! My hubby is making awesome coffee these days” and smiled again. It was the same kiddish smile with a spark of naughtiness in her eyes for which he had fallen.
He smiled back.
“Love you”,She said.
“Love you too”

************************* END 1 **************************

PS: Which climax did u like better?
PPS: Those who comment as "Both equally suck" will be executed.
PPPS: No.. I'm not a 'PS' addict.
PPPPS: Today is a holiday for me. haiya jollyyyyy :)
PPPPPS: Onam aashamshagal!
PPPPPPS: No, Its not a tongue twister. It means "Onam wishes" (I guess so)

************************* END 2 **************************

18 comments:

AnandaRani said...

semma comedy de barg un katha...:D '12B'film madiri yetho try panni iruka...first kadhal kadai thaan yezhuthuvingala madam...ithulam un kathathaana,poi sollama sollu de...apram first climax alaipayuthey film la irunthu copy adichuta...second romba mokka...anyway good effort:)

Bhargavi said...

adipaavi... yedho try panren... konjam atleast encourage pannalam la.... :(
total damage!

anyways, donkey doesnot know camphor's smell! :P

Bhargavi said...

Actually i wasnot influenced by 12B.... uvaaak!!!

may be 'bits' of kaakha kaakha and vetaiyaadu vilaiyaadu... ;)
and here 'bits' is not what u think anand... i'm not like u :P

and alaipaayuthey.... hmmm it dint come to my mind at all...

en kadhaiyaa? paavi.. naan saagavum illa.. enakku innam kalyaanamum aagala...

AnandaRani said...

good effort nu sollitean la apram enna dog....ne rendu climax vachapavae i smelled some kakka kakka influence...;)apram serious ah antha second climax romba mokka:((((

Fahad Mohammed said...

Good try.. but both sucks to me.. I was expecting something different but this is a literal climax of Kaka kaka. I am ready to get executed. :P

Bhargavi said...

ippadi eththana paeru kelambirukeenga..?

ennaaa villathanam!!!

Mani S said...

Good effort :) Good to see a post after such a long time.!! "Onam aashamsagal" does mean "Onam Wishes".

P.S. : I expected a comedy story ;P

ash said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ash said...

Intha story ah theiyriyama post vara panirka....

Enna Koduma mam

:P

Bhargavi said...

@Mani: thanks :)
expected a comedy story? naan comedy piece nu mudivae pannitiya?? :(


@so called ash: engalukku manadhairiyam jaasthi... :)
btw ash nu ulaga azhagiyathan solluvanga.. ullur k****vi ya illa dear..

ash said...

@Bhargavi

sh.........
Public....
%#%%%###
DOG

Bhargavi said...

hahaa.... hahaaa.. hahahaaaaaaaaa

Tara said...

hmmm.. romantic story ,baby?? and onam wishes?? ;) super!! PPl note it and make a real time story about barbie!:P (chinna tipppu:P)

Story was ok!:)tamil cinema stories have influenced your story!!

And, rendu climax-um sodapal.. :P

AnandaRani said...

naanavathu good effort sonnean...paru matha ellarum bayangara damage panniirukanga:)))))

Mani S said...

@Bhargavi : I guess so :) appo neenga andha comedy piece bhargavi illaya?

Bharathe maathave.. so sorry!! (Koundamani ishtyle) ;)

Bhargavi said...

@dora
tippaaa? mavalae kaima dhan ne...


@anand
idha start panni vechcha perumai ellam unnai than saerum dear


@mani
en pala mugangalla idhuvum onnu... 'mokka mugam'...
soon u'll see the 'terror' mugam of mine! :P

Mani S said...

@Bhargavi: Waiting :)

Deepika said...

Indha kadhaiya idhukku munnadiye naan engayo padichirukene?